A Man and His Bag(s)
By: Matt Jared
Over the year’s, crucial moments occur for a complete transformation to manhood. In ancient times, young boys would be banished from their tribes to spend weeks in the wild surviving on wit and determination and self preservation skills learned throughout childhood. The elders would leave the boys for dead in the wilderness to fight off bears, pigs and manbearpigs with their bare hands. Upon returning successfully, the boys would officially be considered men and would get a chance to finally smoke peyote with the elders.
Today, the transition time to manhood is known as spring break and the furthest thing most men know about self preservation is to not touch the bottom of a pond with bare feet to prevent “yucky toes.” In that light, Team Tallsome is looking to take back manliness and this week’s style guides are your 21st century field manuals to officially leaving boyhood and becoming a man!!
For most men, their gear bag is an overlooked part of development that keeps them in their boyhood phases and inhibits their progress to man hood. The following is my personal guide to getting kitted out with the proper man-satchel.
Perfect For: College students / developers / people who participate in Humans V. Zombies
Pros: Act like you’re wearing a parachute and jump off things
Cons: Not a parachute
The Extra Point: If you wear a suit / business casual everyday, it’s time to step it up and ditch the monogrammed Jansport.
The Messenger Bag
Perfect For: Young Professionals, Grad Students, people who actually ride their bikes to locations
Pros: Sleek and upgraded look from the backpack, perfect for that new work issued laptop
Cons: Is this just an overgrown purse I have on my shoulder?
The Extra Point: Our pals at Moosejaw sent over two awesome examples of their best messenger bags. I got mine from Moosejaw earlier this year and I love it. Check them out here.
Perfect for: your Dad, auditors, Don Draper
Pros: You can hold everything you need in one hand!!
Cons: Literally acting like you are a character on Mad Men will not make Joan any more attracted to you.
The Extra Point: Don’t handcuff your briefcase to yourself on any public transit or you will get tackled by a Navy SEAL, guaranteed.
The Roller Luggage
Perfect for: Urban dwellers going grocery shopping, the crazy cat lady, Mr Miagi
Pros: Ease of transport
Cons: Ease of looking like a douche
The Extra Point: Unless your heading back to mother Russia, leave the luggage style day pack at home.
The Fanny Pack
Perfect for: Every man, Smart travelers, Hulk Hogan
Pros: Keeps your pockets clear of debris and looks sharp!
Cons: N / A
The Extra Point: Somewhere along the line, some asshat thought it would be funny to make fanny packs uncool. Well, if the Hulkster can wear a fanny pack and get away with it, I’m totally on board and you should be too.