Today’s Full Disclosure Friday comes from my good pal and Bro Journey correspondent, Carla Sell. Carla has set me up with young ladies in bars, yelled at The Bulldog for not having enough confidence (who would have ever though such a thing possible?) and shared a Macgasm with her boyfriend (The Bro Journey Shaman, Bret) and an unnamed fourth party. (It sounds worse than it actually is. A Macgasm is when you eat seven different kinds of Mac and Cheese in one sitting, keep your pants on people). Anyway, Carla is totally awesome and has graced us with a Full Disclosure for today and we are forever in debt to her! It’s about Texas, me (matt) and the two converging. So read up, or else!! 

Despite the ‘Dude Domination’ of this blog, I hope I don’t overkill by being the third female to contribute to a “FDF” if you will. Yet, I was inspired by my fellow female contributors and thought I’d write one for the good ol’ boys!

The Douche Journey...our new blog

As our dear Matt travels through the land of cowboy boots, firearms, and Nascar, I would like to disclose to you, dear reader, my memories of Matt. When I first met Matt, he had just descended from the U.S. Voyager 21 after saving the world from an Emperor Palpatine and thus once again, establishing intergalactic peace. Flooded with female fans at the boarding ramp, his built-in radar for innocent humans in danger sounded as he envisioned a young boy choking on a carrot 50 miles away. Using his hyper-drive generator, he raced to the young man saving him in the nick of time. It was then I knew I had to be friends with Matt Jared. What?? Yes, this is a true story! Duh.

I. Am. The. Internet.

The second time I realized Matt Jared was awesome was when he morphed into Mark Zuckerberg right in front of my eyes. It was amazing. He just stood there with his hands in his pockets, looked at me blankly and said, “Code…..word.” I realized -he really WAS the Internet, and NEVER questioned him again.

But seriously, regardless of the very slight, hardly possible, minimal, TINY possibility that I may have over-exaggerated these stories a bit, the truth of the matter remains, Matt Jared is AWESOME. One of the few people I consider genuinely fearless, Matt plunges into life-through his new start in Austin, the start of this blog, his involvement in his church/community, etc. And he does all of these things with an uncanny openness and positivity. He lacks fear of judgement, throws his whole heart into his tasks and his friends, and he is not afraid to be human. Life hasn’t always dealt him a sweet card, and it amazes me that his enthusiasm for people and growth and the world remains. But perhaps because of past struggles he can therefore deal with adversity, which will no doubt allow him to survive.

I know what you’re thinking- no I am not in love with Matt Jared……well ok, maybe a little. But come now, who isn’t. He says things like ‘grab your finest handkerchief, a bottle of grandpops extra dry and a slab of meat because you’re about to get knowledged up…’ If that doesn’t make you excited to head to honky tonk town- you really aren’t American.

We will all miss you dearly, Matt. Please, for our sake, stay away from the following 3 things:

1. Rodeo Clowns

2. Beauty Pageants

3. Texas Chili