If you don’t know Max or myself closely you probably are the weirdest person in history because you willingly went to a site called “The Bro Journey” and I question your motives in life. Furthermore, I will never sit AC Slater style around you. Anyway, I digress, if you don’t know us well you may have not heard the news, but I finally quit my job and am moving to Texas. Yeah, it’s actually happening. So grab your finest handkerchief, a bottle of grandpops extra dry and a slab of meat because you’re about to get knowledged up…

Max and I both graduated from college in June of 2010 with full hearts and strong courage? (I just started watching Friday Night Lights so give me a break.) After deciding on Chicago, Max moved himself to the Windy City for nine months looking for work and living in the third biggest city in America. Max did A LOT of non-hallucinogenic soul searching (a dangerous game, indeed) and moved back to Cincinnati after the initial nine month stint in Chicago.


I, on the other hand, spent my first few months out of college living in my mom’s basement and cursing the world for not hiring a pedigreed and brilliant businessman such as myself. (If there was a sarcasm font, it would be used there. Business school is a four year ego boost for professors and students alike, I’ll be the first to tell you that. My arrogance coming out of college was palpable and disgusting and I didn’t deserve a job like Michael Bay didn’t deserve that last Transformers movie. FOR SHAME, HOLLYWOOD!!) After a few months of moping around and a three month internship I landed at the company I have called home since December 2010. Frankly, I’ve hated about 90% of my time here.

I really thought the rest of my life would entail sitting around and printing excel sheets for an entire day every single Monday (An actual duty of mine since September). But even though my first job kind of sucked (whose doesn’t?) I will value my time at this company probably more than any job the rest of my career. Through my personal struggles throughout 2011, coupled with my inept technical skills and arrogant attitude, the real world bitch smacked me back to reality over the past 15 months. It’s been a long and arduous process but my company stuck by me and I’ve grown up A LOT (only like 15 people call me Frat Jared now). With that, I started down a career path that I LOVE and will be pursing in Austin … digital marketing , design and video editing.

The Egg Nog Jog (and the ensuing hurl session afterwards)

Flash to summer of 2011 with Max back in Cincinnati and me living in Hyde Park (Land of the Beautiful People in doucher terms). We ran into each other and became real friends and not just acquaintances, like we were in college (Here’s where you kick on “Start Me Up” by The Rolling Stones). As you know, Max moved to Austin in September and we started this-here interpipes transcript system (blog) in November to raise funds and awareness for Movember. With the onset of the blog, I was actually developing professionally and my thirst to get into the startup / agency scene grew while Max started to try and convince me to move down to Austin.

It’s been a dream of mine to get involved with startups and really doing impactful shit (sorry, I couldn’t come up with a more eloquent way of saying that), but moving to Austin was a pipe dream at the absolute best. Ever since I was a little guy (a LONG time ago) I have wanted to pack up and move far away, but it just didn’t work out and the semantics didn’t add up and I expected my job to get A LOT better. Well the winter wore on and nothing changed with my job situation and I was stuck with nowhere to go. My skills had developed to a point where I thought my current job was almost holding me back or I had plateaued in a way and I wanted to actually work on Monday’s rather than print excel sheets (weird, I know).

So as I’m thinking through this process, Max’ roommate decided to leave Austin and I’m offered a sweet gig helping with the startup, sxunlocked.com. So I had to decide 1.) Stay in Cincinnati and get a new job and stay close to family and friends that I cherish wholeheartedly 2.) Pack up and move to Austin, live with Max, work for SXunlocked for a little while and hope to a get a new job / friends / life along the way. Since I’m a spontaneous type, I chose number two. I’m leaving Monday morning from my mom’s house, headed straight for Austin, Texas.

When I get to Austin I’ll be working with SXunlocked.com during SXSW and will be looking for a full time design / marketing / video editing position in the weirdest city in America. I’m overjoyed. The outpouring of support and professional networking opportunities that have already been presented in Austin are outrageous and I’m sort of overwhelmed with Austin before I even step foot in town. On the other hand, I have an amazing family and circle of support that I will miss dearly in Cincinnati. I grew up about an hour from where I lived in Cincinnati and all of my friends from OU live with in a fifteen minute drive. It’s been absolutely perfect living here and it tears me apart that I have to go, but I have no other choice. It’s time to head down the road and see what else is out there.

If you look closely you can see old needles Sammy Sosa used to inject himself during the 1999 season.

Wow. Have you had a chance to digest all of this? I know it’s a lot. Go ahead and take a breath there big guy, we still have a little more to go… Alright, you good? Let’s keep moving…

So what does all of this mean for you, the reader, our friends, our family (mom, get OFF of the Bro Journey!!), our co-workers, our peers and everybody else? It honestly means one of three things…

1.) You will miss me dearly when I leave Cincinnati and tell TBJ to F off while you go cry yourself to sleep while watching highlights of “The Play” you made against Batesville in the 2001 EAIC Conference Championship Game.

EDITORS NOTE: Number 1 will only apply if you’re name is Tony and you love to Zorch dudes.

2.) The Bro Journey will turn into an amazing way for Max and I to develop ourselves and get better at what we are passionate about all while doing it in our new swanky digs in Austin, TX.

3.) The Bro Journey will crash and burn because Max and I will spend too much time dicking around in our free time and won’t ever write anything.

In all likelihood, expect a little bit of numbers two and three…

Since this post is long as all hell I’ll spare you the details of my trip but I will leave you with this …

Cincinnati People: I PROMISE to keep in touch with everyone from Cincinnati and I will NEVER forget the Queen City (mostly because I’ll be back quite a bit and for Christmas anyway (and Cincinnati is like a foreign land to Texas ladies and Max and I will look like seductive Guy Fiari’s when we show up to tailgates with skyline dip)).

If you feel inclined, come join me for one last round of beers at R.P. McMurphy’s in Hyde Park on Friday night (3.2.12) at 8:00PM. This is a totally casual event but I do expect to puke on at least one person so you might want to bring a spare pair of shoes.

Austin People: Get f’ing ready… Max and I are about to bring the NOISE!! Also, I’m going to be all over the place during SXSW but would love to meet each and every one of you when I get to town next week. Also, I’m still looking for a full-time job after SX so hook me up with your network. Or don’t and I’ll drop kick you in the face. The choice is yours.

Everyone else: Keep being awesome and sit tight. The new Bro Journey will be launching very soon because Max and I will actually be around to yell at each other when we don’t do the required TBJ homework we assign each other for the week. ALSO, be prepared for two new Bro Journey members to be officially introduced over the next few weeks. It’s going to get weird.

We love you all and can’t thank you enough for your support. Until next time ….

This is me in 5th grade. I'm wearing a Marvin the Martian hat.

P.S. This is likely the last thing I’ll do on my MacBook Pro I’ve used every single day for the last 15 months. I’m weeping tears of agony over losing it. Also, if the next person who gets this computer finds this, please DON’T look at the file “Tax Returns 2009” it will haunt you for 20 eternities.