The Bros

Mission Statement:

To provide men, women, (supervised) children, and all in between with a thorough understanding and admiration for what it means to be a man in this day & age. Giggle as ye will.

Our Story:

When time began, titans ruled the Earth and achieved greatness by doing whatever the f*ck they wanted. Soon Gods took their place and, in turn, created such wonders as weather and chastity. Then there were Kings & Emperors who built powerful empires and conquered the world over. Soon enough there were writers and minstrels who passed the greatness of these figures down from generation to generation. Then a couple hundred years passed and some things happened/a bunch of sh%t went BOOM. And then one day Al Gore slipped and hit his head on his bathroom sink and EUREKA, the internet emerged and with that, the single greatest thing to happen to the written word since Shakespeare invented the pun occurred: we embarked on The Bro Journey.

In accordance with Movember, The Bro Journey launched in the fall of 2011 with one goal: create something awesome. With such humble intentions in place, Matt & Max worked tirelessly (i.e. 10-20 minutes daily) to make something out of nothing more than dreams, jokes, and a shared interest in telling cancer to go f*ck itself.

With a year under our belts and a strengthened focus in how we can A) spread the good word, B) increase cancer awareness, and C) continue this-here adventure, we present to y’all: The Bro Journey. Where once we were simply two bros, searching for truth in a dishonest world, we are now a multitude of bros, lasses and others walking out into the wild blue yonder (cue anything by Explosions In the Sky).

So we say unto you all: Bro out, Grow strong & Mo’ On!

- Max & Matt

Our Roster:


Matthew W.I. Jared

Breed: Fratius Indianus Disposal-MiX

Facial Hair of Choice: Scrubble

Adult Size: Husky

Data of Birth: Gari Kasparov becomes world chess champ

Age: 24

Sport of Choice: Lounging/”Coding”

Allegiances: Pawnee Rangers, help-side defense, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Fan Non-Fiction, Scarlet & Gray, Ben Gibbard

Favorite Swansonism: “I hear it has a dope aftertaste.”

Location: Austin, TX




E. Max Bonem

Breed: Maxium Beardus Cincinnatius Hound

Facial Hair of Choice: Dense Forrest

Adult Size: Grande

Date of Birth: Mario Andretti records fastest Indianapolis 500 lap

Age: 24

Sport of Choice: Bike Accessorizing

Allegiances: Teddy Roosevelt, Butchery, Charles Barkley’s Golf Swing, Anyone that carries an ax over their shoulder not ironically, Jim James

Favorite Swansonism: “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”

Location: Austin, TX